My tongue is in my hand…

why do i only have questions?

Posted on: October 19, 2011

I go back and forth about blogging. About what to blog, about how I feel about blogging it…

I don’t know how I feel about much lately. It is too busy. I am trying. Those same familiar feelings and fears keep toying with me. I am afraid I am only “playing’ okay, and I am not. At all.


I fear I’m not using my grace well. Perhaps it is broken that I need. Always. Perhaps that’s precisely where I should be. But I’m not even there.

I’m in a maze, a hamster wheel.


I want more. Same old story. I expect more. I feel more is expected. I want to meet it, to rise and meet it – all that is before me. But how? Where do I carve this all out? There is so much. Tangible and intangible.

I want to know.

I wait.

Perhaps, I sleep.

It is necessary. But is it too much? Too little? Why do I only have questions? so, so many questions.

Forgive me. I am perhaps a bigger mess than I’ve been leading one to be.

1 Response to "why do i only have questions?"

I like to think of you in more a maze than a hamster wheel. A maze has a path. It has choices – left, right, straight – and things are new at every turn. A hamster wheel is continuous, never changes, and has no end other than to get off.

You’re writing – and the thoughts that provoke it – are anything but that.

I hope you’ll stay in the maze a while. And write about it.

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