My tongue is in my hand…

Archive for the ‘made me laugh’ Category

So, I’m gonna get started on this now. I don’t want it to take me forever. I don’t want to obsess about it. I just want to say it.

First of all, after some internet research, I found an article/blog that was just what I was looking for regarding health care. I don’t really care about people’s crazy fanatical fears, nor do I care about anecdotes, or even, all the “scary, hidden aspects of the bill that will make us suffer F O R E V E R.” I just wanted a little data.

Like, what’s up with all these other industrialized countries that have been doing this whole universal health care thing for decades? How’s that working out? Seriously- how’s that working out?

Finally, I got some data (as mentioned and linked above), and feel happy. It basically says that though universal health care is  not perfect, neither is what the US has now,  and still, universal health care is a better use of our money and resources, given we manage to implement it well- maybe modeling it after other successful programs? Like, maybe some other country did something we can learn and grow from? Maybe? And, data shows: it will in all likelihood not be the END OF AMERICA!

So, aside from the data that made my search fruitful and facebook status worthy, I also got a great string of quotes from the comment section.

52: “You have omitted how much people pay in taxes for these entitlements”

Have you considered how much we pay NOW for the uninsured? Do you think that if a homeless person goes into the ER and receives treatment it is just free?

It seems to me that in a “Christian” country to allow multitudes to go without adequate healthcare for apparently the sole reason of wanting to avoid even the appearance of ‘socialism’ (i.e., purely ideological purposes) is immoral. Posted by: slpage | June 15, 2009 5:08 PM

53 #52, I find it amusing that you would be ok with stealing from your neighbor to pay for your health care. Government is not charity or compassion, it is force. Forcing your neighbor to pay for someones healthcare is not christian, it is theft. Posted by: frodo | June 29, 2009 10:12 PM
55 “Government is not charity or compassion, it is force. Forcing your neighbor to pay for someones healthcare is not christian, it is theft.”

Horsefeathers. We are a society. We, as a society, decide to use our combined resources to provide certain services. If we, as a society, decide that healthcare should be one of those services, it is not theft anymore than universal policing is theft. If you choose not to support society, you are more than welcome to leave.

57 “I find it amusing that you would be ok with stealing from your neighbor to pay for your health care. Government is not charity or compassion, it is force. Forcing your neighbor to pay for someones healthcare is not christian, it is theft.”
Isn’t it odd that compassion must be forced on Christians?

May I suggest reading 1st John 3:17

– If you don’t have your Bible handy it reads thus:

“But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? ”   Posted by: Drew L | July 5, 2009 12:45 PM

You’ve got to love anyone who can use the word “Horsefeathers” in any conversation, ever. That truly enhances the awesomeness of the quote. Commenter 55, we would be friends, I can tell. And commenter 57! Yes, America’s Christians are odd, aren’t they? Now, Commenter 52-thanks for provoking 53. This wouldn’t have been possible without you! 53, well, you know- at least you know where you stand (even if it is in some horsefeathery place) .

For the record, I do understand people feeling afraid. Fear and apprehension are normal when you embark on something that is new, that is big, that is kind of out of your control. So, regular uneasiness or even lack of knowledge I get, and I don’t mock. I’m not saying I understand or fully support everything about the bill. But it’s the over the top, selfish, self-righteous, loud, whiny, pessimists that jump to conclusions and make up “facts” that drive me insane.

Now, having ran my brain through that, I think I’ll end this here and pick it up again, as it’s already long enough, with all the quotes. And I wanted to write about the quotes, they made my night. So, I’ll build off this. Maybe tonight, maybe in the morning. (I don’t think I have more than 2 readers anyways ;P)



Posted on: October 25, 2009

11:26pm Bex:
so, why are you the only person on my chat out of 317 people?
i actually checked to make sure I still had friends and they didn’t like mass delete me

11:27pm Rae:

11:27pm Bex
i mean, doesn’t everybody get on facebook like 10 times a day?

11:29pm Rae:

it’s kind of sad it made you check to see if you have friends
i have 28 people on

11:29pm Bex:
well it’s pretty odd
what’s up with stalker?

(Rae’s status reads: stalker is back- “You still are the most interesting white chick I ever met. lol lets
just say chick in general lol and I mean that wholeheartedly.
I’ve went on dates with 3 other white chicks on this site.
All a hot damn mess lol.”)

11:32pm Rae
frog boy is back. that’s part of the email he sent me

11:32pm Bex:
who is that?

11:33pm Rae:
i had to tell you about him, he kisses like a frog
he’s 33 lives in the ghetto with his grandma
and wanted me to have his babies

11:34pm Bex:
and he doesn’t think you’re a hot damn mess?
little does he know…lol
why did you kiss him?

11:36pm Rae:
that’s why i can’t be friends w/guys. i always feel like i have to do stuff
you want me to send you the email

11:37pm Bex:
please do
whatever happened to your age range standard?
just threw that out the window didn’t you?

11:38pm Rae:
threw a lot of things out of the window.
age, smokers, druggies. some rules are made to be broken…
i was wrong

11:39 Bex:
yes you were
you should just bend them a little, with good reason.
and boredom should not be that good reason

11:40pm Rae:
i wasn’t bored, i decided maybe i was missing out on something great by being too picky

11:41pm Bex:

11:42pm Rae:
true story
how’s the bodie situation

11:42pm Bex:
okay. i’m on them all the time

11:43pm Rae
having a dog makes you not even need another kid

11:44pm Bex:
truest story ever
jason just said the major issue with the dog is he is messing up the carpet.
and he begged for tide with bleach the other day. he is such a girl

11:45pm Rae:
yea, that is sooooooooooooooo major

11:46pm Bex:
there is still no one on my chat. not that I mind talking to you.

11:48pm Rae:
i’m starting to think you do. maybe they made themselves invisible to you

11:49pm Bex:
whatevs. why would they do that?
you need to start bringing me to screen your dates. say i’ve got to bring my sister
she’s married, but needs to get out

11:52pm Rae:
yea, that’s what morg and chels said too

11:53pm Bex:
i’m reading this email, did he graduatemiddle school? are you sure he’s 33?
he can capitalize words in the middle of the sentence, but not at the beginning/
you know that drives me crazy

11:55pm Rae:
he actually calledme his “rae of light”

11:56pm Bex:
that is what the term wth was made for.
although if we were in middle school, that might be sweet

11:57pm Rae:
i actually have a date fri

11:58pm Bex:
yea, with who? how’d you meet
criminal record?

12:00am Rae:
online, 25, tega cay, he builds patios and houses and crap,crimnal record i dunno

12:07am Bex:
okay, like he builds them on a regular basis or he helped someone build them one time
you know

12:16am Rae: its like a company

12:17am Bex:
good, good

12:17am Rae:

12:17am Bex:
okay, passed the prelims

12:17am Rae:
he has over 800 movies and a projector screen!!

12:18am Bex:
oh no. DO NOT go over to his house to watch a movie on the first night!
but otherwise
that is awesome
and so you

12:18am Rae:
lol no he wanted to go to the haunted house with me on friday but i told him i’ve already hes thinkin of somethin else to do

12:19am Bex:
okay…don’t be a sucka
that would be meepy, you know?

12:20am Rae:
lol..i mean it would but at this point i dont even really care i just want to have fun

12:20am Bex:
i know, but “fun” can make you want to slit your wrists the week after…right?

12:21am Rae:
dependin on what my expectations are goin into it

12:21am Bex:
true story

12:22am Rae:
if i know they dont want anything serious and i know i dont either i’m ok

12:22am Bex:
yea, on the same page and all that

12:22am Rae:

12:22am Bex:
so smokestack is a done deal?
or whatever you call him

12:23am Rae:

12:23am Bex:

12:23am Rae:
lol oh i was like who the hell is she talkin about
yea hes done with me so i have no choice

12:24am Bex:
hehe.he’s not ready for you lady. he’s got to get his shit together

12:25am Rae:
its not even that he just doesnt care never was just all bs

12:25am Bex:
he said that?

12:26am Rae:
no i know that

12:26am Bex:
so, definitely no druggies or recent druggies
keep that rule

12:27am Rae:

12:30am Bex:
i was thinking the other day, that if we played the drinking game “I never”, we would be able to annihilate each other.
i’d start with: I never dated a guy who kissed like a frgo
and you’d drink

12:31am Rae:
and i’d say i’ve never cheated on my bf..and u’d drink

12:32am Bex:
and it’d be on

12:32am Rae:
lol that it would..might actually be fun

12:32am Bex:
i never made out with someone on the ground at a football game

12:33am Rae:
lol if it had only been just that
man i’m havin trouble thinkin of stuff for u..i think u have WAY more shit on me then i do on u

12:34am Bex:
haha, possibly, but you never know
and yea, i was being nice in describing it as “make out”

12:35am Rae:
lol..well chick i’m off to bed and i’m goin to ponder the dirt i have on u..

12:35am Bex:
haha. love you

12:35am Rae:
love u more nite

12:36am Bex:
and you don’t love me more
i’m doing that

12:37am Rae is offline.

My dad just told me a great quote my grandfather used to say to them (dad and his brothers) all the time growing up: “The whiskey glass and a woman’s ass have ruined many a good man”. That’s some Bible belt farmer wisdom right there…

This was in “news of the weird” in Creative Loafing for this week (March 18-24)

“This adds an extra dimension people will appreciate.” said Hobart, Australia Mayor Rob Valentine in December, announcing that at the annual Taste Festival later that month, performance artists would entertain in the restrooms. According to Valentine, the performers would also supply soap and towels and would “recite [a] favorite poem, or tell…a story” while concert goers “used the facilities.”

This has made me laugh over and over today. Just picture it.

First of all, it’s ridiculous. Who wants to perform in a bathroom? And, who wants someone to read them a poem while they are in the bathroom? What kind of performer would take that kind of gig?

Sam, you would be at an advantage here 😉

Excerpt from work email: (Names removed)

“(Person) was just released from (psychiatric hospital) and is quite psychotic/aggressive. (Manager) felt you would be best to work with him since you are most experienced and good at what you do!”


Yesterday I sat down on a bench right in front of the library and saw a plaque that said “Bench use limited to 20 minutes. City code 11-20”. I looked around and it was on every bench in that area. I later told Alicia I guess you could just bench hop over and over throughout the day.

So, I took a picture on my camera phone and sent it in a text to people I thought would find it funny. Alicia called me later and said that in another library in the same county there are signs on every table telling people “Do not lay your head down, Do not go to sleep, Do not come in here if you have offending body odor, Do not follow people around staring at them in an intimidating manner.” Wow.

So then, I thought of another nearby library I’ve been in where there was a sign in the bathroom that said “No changing clothes or bathing in the bathroom”.

These are not even in areas where I expect there is a major homeless problem, but apparently something or someone warranted the making of such specific signs. I just keep wondering why was someone following someone around in a library staring at them in an intimidating manner? That makes me laugh everytime I think about it because it sounds like something someone would do on a Punk’d kind of hidden camera show. I mean, I’m sure it was creepy to whomever it was happening to, but it makes me laugh. And it makes me laugh that there is a city code regarding how long you can sit on a bench, like they are a hot commodity and everyone needs a chance (no one’s ever sitting on them, btw). I mean, couldn’t you just sit right beside the bench all day if you wanted to? There’s not plaque on the ground…