My tongue is in my hand…

Bad mood, poor mindset, insufferable company

Posted on: May 2, 2011

Can someone carry me?

I am here, years upon me that I’ve yet to even live

and I’m tired

just

so

weary.

Perhaps this is the only way

to get me to lay in green pastures

I’m just not sure how much I trust that

I’m just not sure

why I can’t believe

someone’s going to take care of me

perhaps it’s all the times I don’t see it, can’t feel it, all the people I see needing.

Why should I believe I won’t be left wanting?

I can’t even think, can’t even reason, can’t even feel anything about this anymore. I am just lingering on the edge of belief. Of trying. Why try when the world falls apart minute by minute? Why move at all? I’ll maybe stay here. Just a few more minutes. This world pushes me into anxiety. Into the throes of decisions I’m tired of making, tasks I’m tired of completing, hoops I just can’t get myself to jump through anymore. Aren’t I too young to feel so so old inside?Aren’t I too young to give up?

I feel done. But I can’t stop. What’s going to come of that?

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