My tongue is in my hand…

Posted on: April 22, 2010

mid day update:

I got up, took care of the dog, got on the computer, ate chocolate pie for breakfast, watched saved by the bell, snuggled Natalie, fed her captain crunch and blueberries while I sat with her and ate yogurt, made her lunch, got her dressed, hair and teeth brushed, things for the day together, took her to school

cried a ridiculous amount while driving home. prayed a little. listened to music. talked to myself

came home, worked: called people back, wrote a plan and mailed for dr. signature, returned emails, made an appended to-do list. told jason i’d pick natalie up from school, ate almonds and drank pepsi. took the dog with me to get natalie

picked her up, dropped her off at my mil’s. talked to mil for a minute. gave natalie a million kisses and encouraged her to be nice to the kid she doesn’t like.

back home now and am going to eat lunch, clean up the kitchen and work some more. probably go into the office later to fax and print some things…mom is taking natalie from mil’s to her house and i will eat dinner there with them…i think i can be productive the rest of the day. i don’t want to cry or hurt myself or anyone else right now. we’ll see how the rest of the day goes, right now- i’m starving.

I forgot to mention that I have been thinking that maybe I don’t hate my job, maybe I hate that I haven’t figured out how to manage it and I actually want to like my job because it does allow for a lot of freedom but i’m insanely frustrated with the system and myself and maybe if i could reconcile i could enjoy and benefit from it….

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1 Response to ""

Chocolate cake for brekky sounds AMAZING. I wanna have chocolate cake for everything now. I just imagined a soft creamy cake, with that merangue stuffs on the top.

Yogurt is awesome also.

Crying isn’t… 😦 I like crying, yeah, but… not when other people are doing it. I like your last paragraph. Redirect it. Make it yours, make it useful. That’s the spirit.

Chin up, kiddo. 😉 You’ve got everything you need. It just takes time.

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