My tongue is in my hand…

Posted on: April 2, 2010

I feel sad when there’s not a Law and Order SVU or Criminal Intent on for me to watch. I have a weird addiction to that show.

My motto this past few days has been “Just make some progress”. Basically trying to feel okay with just leaving the day different than I found it by doing something, even small about all the many  overwhelming things in my life. I think sometimes I should list for myself all the things I do in a day and maybe I would feel better than when I look at all the things I didn’t do, or need to do.

Today is the anniversary of my Grandfather’s death. It’s just one of those things you remember…no matter how many years. I wanted to blog about him today…but I don’t have the mental energy right now. I will though, I’m sure at some point.

I have  a new book to start for book club (and another one to get, for the other book club). I’m always so excited to start a new book and get lost in another place. I’m so glad I can enjoy books. I’m honestly sad for people who can’t. I wonder about their brains. I think it’s got to be a little boring in there, if you don’t have the capacity to have stories in your head…

I was thinking today, as I was balancing my Pepsi on a curb beside my purse while I shoved things back into said purse after I put on my makeup in the car after arriving late to a training and then locked my Pepsi in the car and unlocked it to get it back out, how I feel like the disheveled girl in a movie who by the end of the movie finally gets it together, except I don’t think I will, because, mainly, I don’t really think I need to. I think other people should be more accepting of me and my lifestyle that is comfortable to me. I’m just saying. If it weren’t for societal expectations and me needing to play along most of the time, I don’t think I’d feel half as upset with myself or my life as I do. If I really could just be how I am and that be fine, then, well, that would be fine.

Also, nothing else tonight. Putting up groceries and going to bed.

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3 Responses to ""

I think society is the part needing cure. Not the other way around. It’s like …er.. whomever it was that said it: “A person is sane, calm, and well meaning. People are crazed, violent lunatics and you know it.”

I cannot remember who said it.

Trust yourself to be the reasonable one. You’re a smart cookie. 😉

Society sucks. You’re smarter than the masses. 🙂

Thanks guys…sometimes I wonder… 🙂

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