My tongue is in my hand…

Harvard…

Posted on: December 5, 2009

I’m typing this too early in the morning considering the fact that I didn’t get home last night til 3am…but Natalie’s not here and Jason’s still in bed, so it’s my best bet for a moment to myself today…

I went and saw Harvard last night. I was wanting to explain something about this, but my brain is so damn foggy right now. Ever since the first time one of my guy friends picked up a guitar and played a line of a song for me I was hooked on hearing people I know make music.

So, through the years I try to keep track of the people I know who are making music…I always feel more creatively inspired by people I know being creative than by anything else. I was so envious last night though. Envious of musicians in general, really. Envious of the connections people have to one another, creatively as a large group…not to say I didn’t enjoy the show, because I really did. I always do. All the people in one spot right up near the stage with the music shaking everything, I love it. It’s a beautiful high.

It’s always hard for me after things like that though, to come back to the day to day. I have a really hard time with some things in my day to day right now. I feel like I can’t be everything and I just want to give into the pull…it’s just not that easy…and really, I don’t know that there’s any place for me at all.

Maybe not that so much, because there’s actually always a place, everywhere…it just seems like I choose to stand right on the edge of everything. But that’s what I choose…Like I said, it’s far to early for me to be writing coherently. I’m gonna have to follow up on this later.

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