My tongue is in my hand…

Posted on: April 30, 2009

Real quick, because I’ve been short on time lately:

Yesterday, Natalie was outside, trying to fit a toy into a bag so she could come inside and she kept yelling that “it’s not working!” I know I could have just went out there to get it for her, but I wanted her to struggle and ask, because that’s part of life. Besides, she may not have actually been ready for my help if she was too busy being mad about the whole thing. So finally, she came to the door, and I opened for her and asked what was wrong. Then I told her she could just ask me to help. So  she did. And I did.

A moment’s reflection and I thought about the way that day had been particularly hard for me, for no particular reason. So, I turned that on myself and asked God for some help because sometimes, I think God just wants us to ask, because then we’re done being busy and mad and ready to take the hand.

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3 Responses to ""

WOW I have been so neglectful. Many sorries!
I read through this one and.. I don’t know. For me, my childhood, the idea of creating an imposition was somehow demonized. I never asked for help. For anything. I was afraid of it… honestly.
In a situation like this I might have wished for it but if I’m noticed in a struggle and the help isn’t offered… then I somehow always assumed it would just be better not to trouble anyone…\

We all need work. No exceptions. 🙂

I’m actually very much the same way. And it was very much the same when I was younger (at home). I don’t know if it was intended that way, but I figured if I can’t take care of it myself, then I guess I won’t have it taken care of. I’m learning about asking for help, that it’s okay to need help and to ask for it. But I still will never delegate to someone something I CAN do myself. I want Natalie to know she can ask for help. And if she must, she can demand it. Be assertive, be her own advocate. At some point, no one else will. Things I wish I’d known…

I’d say that… in my case, that reliance on my own independence was a good thing. Served me well… I don’t know. I think there’s absolutely got to be a balance between getting the help you need and not becoming spoiled by it. That cripples people…

If in a pinch though, I find I’ll always side immediately with the independant position.

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