My tongue is in my hand…

If you’re lost look for the signs

Posted on: February 25, 2009

It’s been a good night. Enchilada casserole, cake batter and wine (for me) with Nat while watching Beethoven’s 5th…just nice…

but then I get overwhelmed, tired, there are a million things to do and I just want to sleep but then I’m afraid the things will never get done…I just have good, organized, productive times followed by disorganized, anxious, confused, overwhelmed times, I want something I can’t have so I guess I’m going to bed. Leave everything as it is. I want to stop that, I just can’t tonight.

It’s like I get really foggy and there’s no room to think and I feel unsure of what to do next, so I kind of don’t do anything. I don’t understand. it did not used to be like that.

I can’t figure out if something broke, something changed, or it’s just the progression of life, of growing up, of learning.

I feel awkward parameters…I want out, I don’t fit, it doesn’t work like this.

I think, sometimes, it’s just pushing through the fog that gets you there.

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