My tongue is in my hand…

But my question is, who doesn’t?

Posted on: January 7, 2009

New Years Eve, it was a week ago, and I was going to write something sooner, but didn’t. You know.

Anyways on the way home from work, I stopped at Food Lion to pick up some stuff for the night, since a few people were coming over. Well I guess while I was driving, the bag with the beer in it fell so it was leaning against the hatch, so that when I opened it to get the groceries out, it fell and busted all over the driveway.Well, damn it.

So on my way back from dropping Natalie off at my moms, I stop at the same Food Lion and buy another six pack. Upon entering, this guy who works there and usually small talks with me (or makes fun of me for going back and forth in the store because sometimes I go in there and don’t know what I’m getting) says “You’re back?” So I explain to him, the cashier, the bag boy, the lady paying for her groceries. I get the beer and go.

I’m headed to get the pizza when my husband calls and says his sister wanted something to drink. Damn it! I just left there buying alcohol for the 2nd time tonight! Okay, enter Food Lion again and the cashier goes – “You’re back again!” I say “Yes, and I swear this is the last time I’m coming in here to buy alcohol tonight!” So I hurry and grab what Amanda wanted and a lady lets me skip her in one of the two lanes they have open and I sit it down and see that two drinks are missing. Damn it! So, I go back and by the time I’m to the line they are both full of people with full carts and no one offers to let me skip.

So, finally home I drop everything in the kitchen and go get ready, which really just consisted of switching out one black shirt for another and finally putting on some makeup because that was one of those days where I just didn’t quite manage to get any on earlier.

I open my wine and taste Jason’s moonshine (which was flavored and not bad at all especially compared to what I’ve had before- this must be the difference in moonshine that comes from truck drivers and moonshine that comes from school system employees)

Alicia gave me my birthday gifts, wrapped in Christmas paper, which she blamed her husband for (and I’m sure rightly so). She got me a family guy daily calender, and it’s kind of fun to tear the days off, never done that before. And she checked my wishlist on paperbackswap and got me “Not quite what I was planning: six word memoirs by writers famous and obscure” which I was (and still am) very excited about.

We started looking through it and then got on a six word kick the rest of the night randomly claiming phrases as memoirs. Amanda said twice “Man, I smell really good tonight” so we decided that was hers. Alicia called Dick Clark Dick Cheney, which still makes me laugh, but not as much as I did then and then she stated that Carson Daly was doing the countdowns since he stopped doing TLC (she meant TRL) which made me laugh so much my stomach hurt. I mean, one of them burnt their ex’s house down, Carson Daly dated Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Anyways, after these back to back comments, Alicia’s husband piped up from the other room “And that would be my dumbass” which we felt was a great memoir. I was accused of playing my work role (counseling) during girl talk so I said “Maybe I always play this role” which is probably quite true and not really funny, but still, 6 words.

I made brownies because I am an expert at making undercooked chocolate desserts that you have to eat with a spoon and upon the encouragement of Amanda and Alicia added 1/4 bag of heath bar pieces, dark chocolate chips, mini chocolate chips and reeses peanut butter chips. Alicia questioned who  needs that many chocolate chips.  But my question is, who doesn’t? (which is 6 words, btw)

I realized when I went to the bathroom that I had brownie mix on my boob and went out and asked why no one bothered to tell me. Amanda said she saw it and was going to, but forgot or something. Alicia said it probably happened when I was in hysterics regarding Carson Daly and TLC so she felt no sympathy. I changed (this time to a black tank top, in case you care)

So, six words to sum up the past year: “Storms, shatter; shelter, repair in progress”

Six words to sum up what I hope for this year: “Clarity, peace, seek, find, follow through”

Six words for Carson Daly: “Too bad about you and TLC”


1 Response to "But my question is, who doesn’t?"

All I can say to this post is: YES.
I laughed out loud, here in the middle of the shopping centre. I have no idea what game you’re talking about but EVERYONE loves brownies regardless of what’s thrown into them. I want brownies now…

Great post. Happy new year! Good luck in 09! I’ll be puttering along beside you. 😉

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