My tongue is in my hand…

It’s just too bad…

Posted on: December 18, 2008

Sometimes, I want to just disappear. To just fold up within myself and vanish completely. I can’t even write the thoughts that go with the rest of this. I mean, I can, I’m capable, I just won’t. I don’t like how it sounds.

I am heavy. I am tired. I am always confused. My mind won’t stop. I have so much in me and I mean that in a good way. So much. And it’s too much. It gets lost, I can’t get there, I can’t get it formed, I can’t get it out, I can’t get it to completion, I can’t do anything with it except think it and want it.

It concerns me as a parent.

I know actions I can do. I just hate the little hurt that fails to cease. Except a few times since it began. It was more than a few but now, in the ocean of time that’s developed, it’s just a few, just a few reprieves. And that is almost worse than none. None allows you to believe they don’t exist.

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