My tongue is in my hand…

Elaborating on my status…and digressing…

Posted on: November 5, 2008

So I made the longest facebook status ever tonight and realized I really just needed to blog a minute. It went like this:

Rebecca is a southern, farm raised, church reared, white collared, liberal, hippie, idealist who agrees that “our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared” who doesn’t buy into fear if she can help it, feels satisfaction and sense of hope regarding our new president and thinks that labels work better on grocery items than they do on people; we’re more alike than we are different.

It felt surreal watching Obama make his speech tonight. I’m excited that we’re in this place, where someone other than a white male is elected for president, where a woman was a serious candidate for vice president. Initially, to me, it’s common.  Of course these things happen, of course these people can hold these positions.  But historically, it’s amazing to be here.

Also, I totally started crying when the 106 year old woman was mentioned and the changes she has seen in her lifetime. I’ve thought about that before, how many lives happen within your lifetime.  Your childhood, adolesence, young adulthood, college, marriage, parenthood, grandparenthood, retirement, etc…and everything that happens culturally, environmentally, emotionally, globablly, personally…change happens.  Change always happens. And if I live as long as I’ve said I will (100-110) then I can’t even imagine what I’ll see and experience.

Change is something to learn to accept and adjust to.  No matter how good or bad things are, with time, they will change, whether rapidly or gradually, they will change.  Change is something to be active in.  When change is imminent, when change needs to happen, when change is destructive, we can call ourselves to action regarding it, but we have to know that through our actions, there will be more change.  There is never any going back to the exact same thing.  We stand in the sands of time. We have power within our selves and our lives, within our homes and our communities, but we do not have control.  And if we can be okay with that, we can be free from fear.

I was thinking about this in class today:

Fear–>Desire for control/minimize unpleasant or unwanted circumstances–>Creation of formulas/if-then beliefs/scientific methods/societal standards, etc–>Perception of guarantees and control–>it all blows up in your face–>you blame yourself or something else and try it again, in essence controlled by fear

Because fear is an enemy, an army. Fear debilitates, censors, triggers the ugliest places in us, limits us, locks us into panic rooms with no light, no air.  Fear is a wolf that comes to our door in sheep’s clothing and devours us.  Fear paralyzes, marbleizes, tethers us to dry and barren places and tells us they are safe zones.  Fear is a lie.

Belief is defiance of fear.  Belief is free and open and empowering.  Belief breathes life into us.  Belief unchains us from regulations and codes and methods that were designed to control us with fear, manipulating our desire for control and sense of security.  The only security is belief.

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