My tongue is in my hand…

Bad Mommy

Posted on: October 12, 2008

Friday morning, 7:52am, mother in law calls to say she will be there to pick up Natalie early and forgot to tell Jason to tell me (bad mother in law!)

I then throw random pre-packaged snacks, some of which I’m not even sure she will eat into Natalie’s lunch box just as the door bell rings, since mother in law lives less than 1/2 a mile away (bad mommy).

When I get home with Natalie that night, my arms are full with her bookbag, my work bag, my school bag, my makeup bag, and her blanket, my purse, keys in hand and Natalie runs to the backyard after I tell her to walk to the front door (bad Natalie!).

Natalie asks to play with play makeup and I say yes, and play with her (good mommy)

I then leave her to do something (dumb mommy)

Natalie makes hand prints all over the table with her lipstick covered hands (Nat Nat!)

Later, Natalie asks me to watch Dora with her and I tell her “5 minutes” because I’m typing something.  By the time I get in her room, she’s asleep (bad mommy).

I leave her to sleep on the floor a little more while I get a few things done instead of trying to get her in the bed, in case she wakes up and won’t go back to sleep.  When I decide it’s safe, I turn off the light and tv and turn on the radio and try to slip her in the bed, un-bathed, covered in play makeup from earlier that night (umm…mommy…)

She wakes up and asks for me to turn the tv back on, and I do, because I really just want her to stay in bed (bad mommy!) .

My husband comes home and tells me that I bought the wrong medicine (bad wife).

Natalie wakes up around 2 and cries for me to sleep beside her, and I do (good mommy, bad mommy)

I crawl into my own bed around 4:30, wake up at 7:00 to “MOMMMYYY”.  When she asks to play outside, I tell her “It’s too muddy (though it’s probably not), go watch tv” (Bad Mommy!)

I’m sitting in the shower, trying to mentally prepare myself for the day and get clean (good mommy)

when Natalie comes in and drags the stool to the sink and turns off the light (bad Natalie!)

I tell her to turn it back on ‘RIGHT NOW’ and she doesn’t (bad bad Natalie)

I tell her if she doesn’t turn it on, I will smack her (Bad Bad Mommy!)

I tell her if she doesn’t turn it back on, I will take all her toys and not play with her (no one believes that Mommy)

Natalie turns the light on and leaves, closing the door all the way, which thanks to the childproof knobs, means she can’t get back in (thanks Nat Nat)

I take her to Caribou for some Mom and Natale time (and caffeine and m&m cookies) (Good Mommy!)

We go to the grocery store and I pull out of the aisle to show her a scary Halloween mask, let her touch it and wear it so she won’t be scared if she sees them on someone, then took her picture so she could see (good mommy)

Let the m&m cookie be her lunch (bad mommy)

Take her to my mom’s to spend the night and am told upon picking her up that her pajamas were too small and left little elastic marks on her arms and then argued with my mom that they weren’t too small (bad mommy, silly daughter)

While at mother in laws to watch the football game, father in law cuts Natalie’s hair (Bad Bad Father In Law!!!)

Jason told his dad it wasn’t that bad and said we shouldn’t be that mad (good son, bad husband).

I’m typing again while Natalie is taking a nap at 6pm while Dora’s on again (bad, dumb mommy).


4 Responses to "Bad Mommy"

Haha, fantastic. I love this experiment. Very true.

We sometimes do things we know we shouldn’t, but the kids, they’re way ahead of us in the energy department and we, it’s been a long day and you’re so dog tired, take the lax approach, even though the little angel on the shoulder is crying bad bad bad while the devil capers do it do it do it, then you see their kiddie little eyes glaze over in front of the television as your eyes glazes as well over from sheer exhaustion, and before you know it the trim living room is everything but and you go oh damn, stagger to the stove and whip up some subpar culinary delight and still waking you drag them to dinner your eye on the clock, thinkin you shouldn’t feel this, but as you think this, your eye still wanders over to the clock and you yearn to flip it over, knowing well enough a watched pot doesn’t boil and lo the magic hour is reached finally, your spirits lighten up just a bit though there’s still a good half hour of wrasslingtude then it’s that time, the hour is up, passed, and you sprawl on the couch, nursing a book, wondering that its a bit too quiet.

so again, I know it took forever to respond, but I wonder how you get it so right with the scene you lay out, especially the end…it being too quiet, when all you’ve been wanting is some rest…personal experience or imagination?

Arent we all good and bad at the same time. What is good for me might be bad for you. We have to give and take. I think you are great mom. Natalie adores you … and in the grand scheme of things isnt that what is important. Oh and the haircut well it could be worse!!! hehehe

(If weren’t aware, you can look in your dashboard and click ‘My Comments.’ It will take you to the recent comments you’ve made and the most recent replies to these comments as well).

From experience. I was a dad for one year. Not a biological father, but I was there. The boy was two when I started dating his mother, and that age is a really fun age in children because you can see how much information they take in, and you’re able to laugh at how they try to decipher it. It’s especially tiring because the whole thing takes up your itme and energy. Trenton was especially fun because he’s proficient in sign language, it being his first language. He was born deaf, as I was, and his grasp of the language was incredible.

Things didn’t work out with his mother, and not long afterwards I started dating another mother, which I am currently in a long term relationship with aims of lifelong matrimony, with two girls aged 5 and 8. (I’ve been accused of being a MILF hunter, which isn’t true! Things happened the way they did. Nobody ever expected anything like this). These ages, plus them being girls, was a completely different experience for me, but that didn’t make it any less a learning experience. We’ve just got a puppy as well, a Labrador and Alaskan malamute mix, and shit, it feels like toddlerhood all over again!

Life’s weird like that. I never saw myself doing this.

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