My tongue is in my hand…

Spin-off

Posted on: September 9, 2008

My initial notes from the list I made in the previous entry ended with this:

 I see recurring themes for the need of love, support, friendship, safety, security, financial help, coping skills, forgiveness (of self and others), importance of learning one’s own body cues, importance of taking care of one’s self, accepting life and people as they are, moving on from the past, seeking healing and relief, the desperate need to believe something in order to keep going and the trick of using the right words when talking to yourself and fixing your mind on the positive – having your “eyes on the prize”, the remarkable impact parents have on their children and the horrific things that they do, that there is something that separates those who repeat these actions and those who actively seek to be better. And what keeps amazing me is the things that a person can endure and the things that can break us into tiny little pieces.

This is all universal. This is all of us. We are all in this together. We are one big ocean of souls. A spider web of minds. A mass of energy. We have to live consciously.

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3 Responses to "Spin-off"

How conscious is living consciously? Are we really awake? Really aware? I always feel like there is a fourth wall to bust through, and you’d fall into some control room or studio and say, “Oh! so this is the truth!” Then there’s more, an infinity of walls to break down, a digging into the earth of the self. I wake up in the mornings with a twinge in my heart, and tell myself that my forgotten dreams are more real than the world to which I open my eyes. It’s like being trapped in a cage of your own verbage, your very identity the final scrap that holds you like a string to a balloon, preventing you from bursting into the great blue truth that looms above. But you don’t want to let go just yet…

i had to smile when you talked about bursting in the control room one day because i have had similar thoughts, more like a snowglobe or little christmas village type of thing, but still…

Yess.

You know how the Simpsons, in the very beginning of the show, clambers into the living room to watch TV, and they show it a different way every episode? My favorite is the one where they zoom into Homer, through his molecules, the atoms, then wayy inside where there is darkness with inklings of galaxies, zooming into a spray of stars, and there’s the old big blue of Earth, Springfield, through the roof, and there’s Homer, blinking on the couch with his brood. Layered by scale, each level slightly different, like a band of the spectrum. And Homer’s antics are scripted, and who scripts the scripters? It’s an application of dizzying recursive logic.

It’d be a pain to find out you were just a character in a novel… and that no matter what you do, your actions are scripted, including your angst at being a character in a novel.

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