My tongue is in my hand…

Self Interventions or “There she goes…”

Posted on: September 9, 2008

 Things that are frustrating me about my job:

1. Going to people’s house when they’re not there. (waste of time and gas and leaves blank spots in my schedule and paycheck)

2. Going places I’m uncomfortable (i.e. being verbally and bordering on sexually harassed by men in the street)

3. Being exposed to secondhand smoke by chronic smokers

4. Having no place to “be” as a home base (such as my own office)

5. Taking people places they need to go because no one else will and they can’t take themselves (no car or license or public transportation)

6. Driving 100 miles a day, especially in bad weather/traffic

7. The unstructured nature of the day leaves me at too many loose ends and unproductive too often

8. Mixing home and work (taking calls while with family, running errands during work gaps)

9. Being surrounded by negativity, poverty, illness, and bad family situations

10. No time with co workers (lonely/bored/no venting or idea sharing)

11. Parents that won’t return my phone calls

12. Adults that call me 5 times in 30 minutes leaving dramatic voicemails and pages on my phone (I am not emergency services, I have other people to work with)

13. Expectation to tailor my schedule to others needs (possibly in the future)

14. Worrying about getting hours

15. Feeling at other’s beck and call to get said hours

16. Causes me to question my mental/emotional/spiritual well being (feeds me sadness, negativity, anxiety, hopelessness, frustration; unhealthy thoughts and trains of thought)

17. Wishing this job didn’t even exist

Things I feel good about or like about my job:

1. I feel like it’s important

2. It has lead me to develop and use my own ideas and techniques for therapeutic exercises and interventions (personally and professionally)

3. Gives me the opportunity to make a lasting change

4. Uses skills I have naturally (listening, empathy, problem solving)

5. Challenges me to be authentic emotionally/spiritually/mentally

6. Gives me a window into people’s lives

7. Has me doing things I may have never done but many people do: Apply for food stamps, Medicaid, WIC,  WorkFirst, rent/power/emergency food/clothing assistance at DSS and other agencies, find out how to file for divorce, how to file a restraining order, file for and appeal social security/disability benefits, get a GED, apply for public housing, deal with county transportation system, attend therapy sessions…

8. Leads me to challenge stereotypes and assumptions

9. Hearing stories that you just couldn’t make up

10. Confirms time and again that we are more alike than we are different.

I actually wrote out a service note for myself after this:

Intervention: Rebecca stated that she felt frustrated with her day because her schedule was messed up and she was losing cases and needed more hours especially with recent financial stresses due to husband’s unemployment and recent gall bladder surgery for which he is out of work again.  Rebecca stated that she was tired of being frustrated and feeling at loose ends on days like this.  Rebecca stated that she felt overwhelmed and unsure of what to do and did not know if she even liked her job or wanted to do it anymore.  Rebecca suggested to herself that she make a list of frustrations and positives related to her job to help her to possibly identify triggers and possible solutions or coping skills to utilize.

Effectiveness: Rebecca decided to take a lunch break and make a list of things that were negative and positive about her job.  Rebecca stated that overall, she felt better after making the list.  Rebecca stated that she did identify some major triggers and ways she could deal with them better and also ways she could decrease/eliminate them such as: talking to supervisors about needing new cases and about not working in areas she felt unsafe, scheduling more firmly with individuals, shaping her day to streamline driving,  streamlining her schedule to minimize work/home overlap, have productive options available to self if schedule opens up such as study for school).  Rebecca stated that the list of positives helped her feel good about her job and lessened the importance of the negatives.

The following day’s note would say something about me crying about my job the next day due to someone saying they give up completely and almost missing out on farewell party for well-liked supervisor (and the rare interaction with co workers) and feeling overwhelmed again by my life in general but would state that by the end of the day I felt okay.

So does the fact that I am clinically assessing myself fall under positives or negatives? Or does it just cancel itself out? I wonder, what it is like to have learned effective and healthy coping skills as a child and adolescent through your main supports and if it makes a difference in the end.

And FYI with the person I was crying about/for has not, in fact, not given up.


2 Responses to "Self Interventions or “There she goes…”"

Wow, I can really relate to this. I’m assuming you are a case manager, but in Mental Health? I used to work that too and these positives and negatives looked very familiar…we’ll be praying for you, keep the door open for new possibilities, remebering that God has you where you are today on purpose.

Thank you Allison. That means a lot.

Yes, I’m in mental health as community support

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