My tongue is in my hand…


Posted on: September 3, 2008

Dozens of ideas, underdeveloped, going through my mind:

but you can’t be afraid of your own thoughts, can’t be afraid to write them out, to admit them, accept them, challenge them, develop them, reflect on them

lately, I am constantly questioning motives. this is of course: psychology and sociology and anthropology.

and thinking of other things about: non-profit; research (and why statistics means more to me than any other math because I can use it to develop ideas that are important to me); business; writing; therapies; techniques; interventions; love like a tide and not a tie; accepting constructive criticism; it’s okay to not be perfect-expect it and accept it; loving language; not biting my tongue at all the wrong times since I’m the only one that has to live my life; not trying to hold together something that’s not working for me anymore; responsibility; friendship-it’s magnitude, it’s capacity, it’s possibility; living authentically (what is important to me), shaping my voice; not giving up on myself (in a variety of ways); accepting missteps; accepting the general nature of consequence is that consequence is natural and though it can be predictable, it is not always; accepting that good intentions and “best” decisions do not guarantee positive (or obviously positive) outcomes; finding positive people and surrounding myself with communication and communion with them; not being anxious; the usefulness of reading, thinking, writing, reflecting on faith-things; bible stories coming back to me: manna and Lazarus; following through with plans or idea development: websites (class, family, personal), family history recording project, submitting to (and reading) publications that fit, organizing-developing-producing-editing-work materials and poetry or writings, developing and organizing lists to organize self, getting pictures developed, backing up my computer files; taking care of myself; being a good mom/wife/sister/daughter/friend/employee/student/support; daydreaming about people/places I want to be around; making good use of my time; forgiving myself my mistakes and moving on; redeveloping confidence; expanding myself; waking up earlier; being more prepared for things like: grocery shopping or the day itself; letting people step up; taking chances (on people); not accepting responsibility for others when everyone must be responsible for themselves, their life, their happiness; constantly remembering that I have within me everything I need to be okay; believing that the fulfillment and intimacy I am seeking can and will happen and being patient and active in the waiting; owning myself; knowing what I want and want to do and doing it; speaking positivity and belief into my day; being aware of perspective; responding to people; being able to reach natural highs and mind clearing/concentrated/open states; being moved to create- there is just not enough time in my day.


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