My tongue is in my hand…


Posted on: July 4, 2008

Lots of times on people’s profiles there’s an exhaustive list of things they like/dislike. It’s actually an exercise that can be used therapeutically. Of course it doesn’t usually produce much at first because you can bet if you ask someone sitting at the rock bottom of their own personal darkness they will tell you that they like nothing. And you’ll say, well what did you used to like? Often enough- nothing or I don’ t know. But then, give a little silence and they’ll say “flowers i guess” stated with such lack of enthusiasm that you wonder if they just said that so you will stop asking them or if they just know, in the very back of their mind that they do, it’s just such a far out concept (liking something) at that point that they can’t say it with conviction. Or you’ll point to a collection of cigarettes or Mountain Dew and say, what about that? Start there. So then, slowly… I like tanning, or I like helping people, or I like baking… And it’s like, if you can just get someone to ID a few things, a few attainable things, you can tie them together and kind of throw a rope out.

Doing any kind of therapeutic activity with someone basically holds me accountable for being able to do the same thing, I can not expect of others what I can not expect from myself. So of course, a list is coming and to prevent me from making one of those exhausting, every single thing I like at all kind of list I am going to give it a guideline-

Things I get excited about:

Old cemeteries, music written or performed by people I know, finding a new coffee shop, going on a trip, reading a book or watching a movie that makes me think and having someone to talk about it with, when my Dad’s side of the family gets together, learning my family history, small town downtowns, food, doing things with Natalie I always imagined doing with my child, sitting by (or in) a body of water all day, camping, real conversations, spending time with large groups of people I’ve known for a while, performing with a choir, singing in a different language, getting a genuine compliment, creating something I feel good about, being comfortable enough to act fearlessly idiotic, being confided in, feeling loved, being part of something bigger, attaining a natural high, achieving something I didn’t think I could, being told my words did something for someone, burning incense and candles, playing a game I don’t classify as stupid, liking what I look like in the mirror, making new connections (to people or concepts), being desired, feeling peaceful and grateful all day, seeing someone I care about doing well, having conviction, clarity, and belief, taking new routes, successfully making my way without a map, having time and money to go shopping, just walking in a Victoria’s Secret store, free art exhibitions, antique stores, old pictures, going to plays, dollar store shopping sprees and clearance shopping, making and eating desserts where I add in my own ideas


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