My tongue is in my hand…

you’re gonna miss this

Posted on: May 12, 2008

May 10, 2008

Mom, Natalie and I walked around downtown Concord today. We parked in the free 3 hour parking deck behind the library and made our way in and out of the little boutiques and antique shops. We stopped in one store and sampled lotions, stopped in another where I took about 15 minutes to buy 10 sticks of incense, smelling all of them two or three times and letting Natalie do the same, settling on honeysuckle, rain, magnolia, and plumeria. We sat outside a kitten rescue for a while and watched the little cats play. We saw Mickey and Minnie mouse outside a coffee shop and café and after looking into the other eating options decided this was the best one to take Natalie in, and it turned out to be perfect. They served really good pannini’s and Natalie got chicken nuggets for free, which is good because she didn’t eat any. She sat on Mickey’s lap and then watched them and the children from a window seat inside while I sat with mom at our little round table sipping sweet tea instead of our usual waters. After that I drove around a little looking for this one book store I thought I had seen before but couldn’t find. On the way through the historic district mom and I talked about the houses and what it would have been like to live in one in the past and now. It was a clear, warm, breezy day. It was beautiful. Natalie fell asleep on the way home after we listened to Taylor Swift’s “Picture to Burn” a few dozen times. While she finished her nap in the car I sat on the stoop and read Loving Frank my book club pick while texting Haley and Catie, and talking to Jason in between about flowers in the flower bed and how our morning had been and our plans for the rest of the day.

I just burned the magnolia incense while typing. I love the kind of earthy, heavy smoke. I like to watch it streaming out the lid of the incense burner which sits right in front of a black and white photgraph of ocean waves and a cloudy sky with the sun hazy behind the clouds. Jason’s playing xbox live, Natalie is doctoring her babies and watching Veggie Tales. Natalie is wearing the cutest little pink sundress and the top is seer suckered and multicolored, the straps are frilly. She’s such a little girl right now.

Last weekend started off with Alicia and Chris coming over on Friday night to hang out and watch Dan in Real Life while we ate banana split ice cream sandwiches and popcorn. I gave Alicia back Songs Without Words which was the other book club pick (Haley’s). She had got it from the library and let me read it first since I couldn’t get it from the library.

Saturday Natalie and I caught ladybugs in the morning and then met Megan and her nephew at Caribou where Natalie and I had our usual; M&M cookie for her (which she only eats the M&M’s) and a small hazelnut latte for me. That night Jason and I had pasta from Anzi in Locust. I got the baked Ravioli. It was so good. After Natalie was in bed I went to B&D and got boiled peanuts and cherry lemon sundrop slushies. He watched the race, I read, then we watched the Astronaut Farmer (on tv), which was actually pretty good for a movie that I had no interest in seeing at all.

Sunday morning Natalie and I went outside and caught lady bugs, made friends with a gray cat who I (unimaginatively) called Smokey. We later found out his name is Percy. We also found a toad which I caught multiple times trying to get Natalie to pet it. We named him Tommy the toad. The grass was dewy, the sun was a easy early morning sun, gentle warm. We later went to the grocery store and I gave her stickers to keep her entertained. I kept wondering why people were looking at my stomach and smiling…I later realized I had a ton of stickers spanning my torso, that I probably okayed while shopping and not really paying attention to what I was saying okay to.

I’ve been thinking, how we are innocent to our futures.

And there’s a song whose lyrics stick in my head

“You’re gonna miss this, you’re gonna want this back

You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast

These are some good times, take a good look around

You may not know it now,

But you’re gonna miss this”

And I think of periods of my life that I just couldn’t wait to get out of and how when I look back now, it’s kind of like childbirth; you know it was hard and painful but you don’t really remember that part. And I’ll think, man, I wish I could be back there again, if just for a little bit, to really enjoy it.

Sometimes my weekdays are so hard, full of illnesses and stresses…but my weekends are nice, some of my weekdays are nice, I want to keep them in the front of my mind so I don’t look back and wish I had enjoyed this.

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