Posted by: Becca on: May 18, 2011
Sometimes, there is just this restlessness. I don’t know what to do with it. I feel antsy and trapped. I feel like I can never really breathe, like I’m waiting for something…something to set me free. I feel like I have no place to be. I feel groundless, but not in a way that is [...]
Posted by: Becca on: June 6, 2010
Sometimes, a lot of times, writing is the only thing that makes me feel powerful…it’s empowering…it’s active…I don’ t know why I just don’t write sometimes. I should write all the time, but it’s like there’s some block…not writers block, something else. And it’s not just with writing, there are the walls I hit, far [...]
Posted by: Becca on: January 22, 2010
I’ve been thinking lately, about poetry, about writing, about my sanity, my mental health. Now, being in mental health as a profession, it makes sense to think about mental health. What I’ve been thinking is that everyone could have a diagnosis. There are so many diagnoses, we could all be diagnosed with something. I think [...]
Posted by: Becca on: March 10, 2009
Excerpt from work email: (Names removed) “(Person) was just released from (psychiatric hospital) and is quite psychotic/aggressive. (Manager) felt you would be best to work with him since you are most experienced and good at what you do!” Awesome.
Posted by: Becca on: February 25, 2009
It’s been a good night. Enchilada casserole, cake batter and wine (for me) with Nat while watching Beethoven’s 5th…just nice… but then I get overwhelmed, tired, there are a million things to do and I just want to sleep but then I’m afraid the things will never get done…I just have good, organized, productive times [...]
Posted by: Becca on: February 7, 2009
I want to remember everything about it. That first 10 months or so. I wonder if what happened the 11th month changed everything and then I wonder how it couldn’t. And then there was starting my “real” job at that same time. It’s hard to know what did what (graduate college, have a baby, completely [...]
Posted by: Becca on: February 3, 2009
I’ve been told that I’m easy to talk to and confide in, and I’m not kidding you, today a girl I never before met talked to me for an hour on the sidewalk in front of the library. Told me why her husband is in jail right now, why he has been before, why she’s [...]
Posted by: Becca on: January 30, 2009
I am making myself write and not go to sleep yet. I have paperwork to do too. *sigh* Always. I’m feeling better about the job, but it’s the kind of job that permeates your life. I don’t know why I thought working in mental health would be the kind of job that didn’t. It’s not [...]
Posted by: Becca on: January 22, 2009
I”m frustrated with myself right now. I don’t really like blogging like this, but I think it’s better than not doing anything with it. My journal is in my bedroom, where my husband is sleeping and my handwriting gets sloppy and the words….whatever. So, I’m frustrated. I think there’s this one thing that is everything. [...]
Posted by: Becca on: January 20, 2009
I decided two things I am focusing on this year. One is inspired by a line from a poem I wrote: “stop biting your tongue at all the wrong times/you’re the only one that has to live your life.” I am a peacemaker. I am a compromiser. I have played that role as long as [...]
