Posted by: Becca on: May 18, 2011
Sometimes, there is just this restlessness. I don’t know what to do with it. I feel antsy and trapped. I feel like I can never really breathe, like I’m waiting for something…something to set me free. I feel like I have no place to be. I feel groundless, but not in a way that is [...]
Posted by: Becca on: June 6, 2010
Sometimes, a lot of times, writing is the only thing that makes me feel powerful…it’s empowering…it’s active…I don’ t know why I just don’t write sometimes. I should write all the time, but it’s like there’s some block…not writers block, something else. And it’s not just with writing, there are the walls I hit, far [...]
Posted by: Becca on: March 30, 2010
I woke up earlier today to try to start my day off with peace and not anxiety. In theory, I like the idea of starting the day with quiet time, a devotional. But I feel like the only way to do that is to write, on here. I feel like my mind wanders too much [...]
Posted by: Becca on: January 22, 2010
I’ve been thinking lately, about poetry, about writing, about my sanity, my mental health. Now, being in mental health as a profession, it makes sense to think about mental health. What I’ve been thinking is that everyone could have a diagnosis. There are so many diagnoses, we could all be diagnosed with something. I think [...]
Posted by: Becca on: March 10, 2009
Excerpt from work email: (Names removed) “(Person) was just released from (psychiatric hospital) and is quite psychotic/aggressive. (Manager) felt you would be best to work with him since you are most experienced and good at what you do!” Awesome.
Posted by: Becca on: February 25, 2009
It’s been a good night. Enchilada casserole, cake batter and wine (for me) with Nat while watching Beethoven’s 5th…just nice… but then I get overwhelmed, tired, there are a million things to do and I just want to sleep but then I’m afraid the things will never get done…I just have good, organized, productive times [...]
Posted by: Becca on: February 21, 2009
So, this with work are better. A little bit. I still don’t know how the hours will work out, but the position is still a professional one, so I feel better about that aspect. This is why I always try to keep relationship things private, because more often than not, you end up back with [...]
Posted by: Becca on: February 19, 2009
Every relationship I’ve ever had has apparently been training ground for dealing with this job. Not the job when I’m doing work, but the back and forth up and down changes. Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold is I think about my company and not about a boyfriend. My program manager just told me she wants [...]
Posted by: Becca on: February 19, 2009
I’m like a watched pot. I won’t boil while you watch me, and it takes a while. When someone delivers information to me that is upsetting, shocking, disappointing, etc, my initial reaction is barely a reaction. Even when something bad happens in front of me, like Natalie getting hurt. I’m not quick to panic, I [...]
Damnit, Damnit, Damnit! That’s what keeps going through my head thinking about work. I am beyond frustrated. I would spout off about it now at length if I didn’t need to go. I just wanted to say: DAMN IT. Alright, I’ll be back tonight with more, I’m sure.
